"Colleen", Cleveland Boss' long-suffering secretary, told me today was a much calmer day to stop by and talk with Boss regarding the article (which is now due in one week, even though we still have no topic.) I stop in, and no Boss. "Colleen" swears he was just in, and I make a crack about him hiding under the desk to avoid me. This is overheard by the "Ana" the Latina concessions lady who has probably been here at Baker in her spotless white uniform serving cokes for about as long as Boss has been here looking confused in his mustard-yellow tweed jackets.

As I pass her on my way back to my office, yellow pad in hand-

Ana: "Are you looking for Meester Cleveland?"

Me: "Yes, have you seen him?"

Ana: (whispers) "I theenk he's in the men's room. He usually takes heez newspaper so he might be a while."

She then happily goes back to restocking the tea caddy.

As if I wasn't uncomfortable enough around Boss, I now know his bathroom habits. Arg.